Saturday, April 23, 2011

a day without me

It's burial Saturday. I know, it's not the official name, but I feel like it should have a name. Today is a day, as a wise pastor put it eloquently, we sit shiva for Jesus. it's raining. It's a day of quiet and mourning.

It's a day without Him.

Life in a post-Easter world means we don't ever have a day without Him. He is with us "always, even to the end of the world." But today, the disciples, for the first time, are alone.

Sometimes you don't realize what someone meant to you until you don't have their presence anymore. The important people in our lives are easy to take for granted, especially the ones we are used to always being there and supporting us. Then they go and we have to stand on our feet and feel the wobble in our knees.

I live in the belief that everything Jesus did was very intentional. In other words, He could have died on a Tuesday. giving His life on Tuesday means He could have risen on Wednesday before coffee. Jesus' friends wouldn't hurt for very long until they got to experience the joys of Easter morning.

But Jesus chose to allow some space.

The space allowed these people to consider themselves. They were alone. They always counted on Jesus to clean up and fill in the gaps. They never thought He would go; thus feeling the freedom to abandon Him in His darkest hour.

Today, they spend the day leaving the childhood of dependence and move into love.

They find, locked in the upper room, that they miss their friend. They don't miss Him because of the free lunches or the notoriety of being one of His disciples. They just miss Him. That's why they gather. At least in each others' faces they can still see Him

One of the great gifts that He ever gave the ones He loves is a day without Him.

I wonder if during some of the times that I feel God just isn't listening or that He has left that He is teaching me some of the same things. I find that in a day without Him that I can stand on these legs that He told me were strong or that I can love with this heart His spirit has healed. I can move forward in the way He has shown me and live the way He has shown me.

And, as I move, I find that I become a man who loves the one who loved him first. I find that, at the end of the day, I just want to know Him.

Today I give thanks for the lessons learned when the heavens are silent.

No comments: