Trust Fall

Have you ever done a trust fall? I did about 70 of them yesterday. I'm the "storyteller" at a church Vacation Bible School this week, meaning that I am the one responsible to tell the story of Jesus that is being reinforced by crafts, games, skits, and music all week long. It seems to me that I've always been a story teller for Him. I love to tell His story and, over the course of my years, people have told me that I do it in a way that helps them connect to the man who lives as the cornerstone of my life. Yesterday, the story was intended to project the theme of trust. "Why can I trust Jesus" was the question of the day and a story of a man who trusted Jesus to heal his son was used as the evidence of an affirmative answer.

I used trust falls to illustrate it.

Kids falling backwards into the arms of a teacher or helper.

Someone bigger

Someone they think they can trust.

Trust.

Hmmm.

It's quite a thing to turn around, spread your arms wide, close your eyes, and just fall backward...trusting that there are arms to catch you.  Trust requires that two truths work in concert at the same moment in time: Love and Power.

See...love alone (crazy as this sounds) simply isn't enough for me to put my trust in someone. Love is not all I need (with apologies) when it comes to where I let myself fall. Love alone doesn't carry with it any sort of ability or strength. Love is an orientation toward the good of another...and is key, but not solitary.

Power can often be mistaken as well. Power is attractive because it communicates ability. Fast cars, fit frame, an extraordinary skill, or visible financial strength certainly communicates a power to move through the world at a different pace, but as love alone doesn't provide a safe place, neither does power alone. A malevolent dictator has all the power possible, but cannot be trusted any more than a kind King who lacks the courage to protect his people is worthy of his title.

When Power and Love live in the same heart - now you've got something, mister.

I'll admit it...or at least I'm starting to admit it...I struggle with Trust. I would describe myself as an "up by my bootstraps" kind of guy. In many ways, my fiercely independent spirit has served me well. I've gained an ability to navigate my world and build things that simply was not there before I arrived.  However, I am also aware that this independence also has protection within it's DNA. I've been injured. Trust, or faith, as a result, is not something that comes easy for me. This past season has seen that ability driven further and further below the surface of this man as I am working to heal from trusts that have been broken. I find myself cautious in relationships that I truly love, simply because I'm afraid to rest in them. I'm a man who has been hurt...and I don't want to fall again.

Of course, during our trust fall experiment, there were kids who could fall, many who would stumble backwards and fall with caution, and a few who were too afraid to try. I suppose that is a lot like who we are as a species. I know that at this point in my life there will be no falling without fear. I can do brave, but fearless is simply unwise. My heart longs for love and community too much to simply not try. I've hit the floor many times, but somewhere in my heart I know that being human is allowing yourself to be caught.

No kid fell blindly. Every kid made their choice with the evidence that was in front of them. They knew enough about the people doing the catching that freed them to risk. That's all we can do.  Like a breadcrumb trail leading us home, are path is one of walking through the dark and scary forest because we know that love is on the other side. We listen as we walk, picking up clues to find those worthy arms.

We look for Power...but not just

We look for Love...but not just.

We look for hearts that have demonstrated their ability to catch us time an time again. We might stumble into the fall...but letting ourselves be caught is the only way we will truly know what it means to be human.

My arms are out...I'm closing my eyes...I'm ready to fall again.