Thursday, May 6, 2010

Becoming Prince Charming part 5 - Breaching Bulwarks

OK…so I know I said that I was all done talking about the Princess and we would focus on Charming.  However, it has occurred to me that without the Princess, there is no Prince Charming.  Now, of course, there will be a man named Charming (what a great name, by the way) and his royal blood makes him prince in title. For the purposes of our investigation, there is an ingredient that makes this mere man become legend.
It’s the heart of a true princess.
Need is often considered a weakness.  No prince (or princess) wants to be considered weak or helpless.  It would be grave error to assume that all this rescuing business equals an incapable princess whose only value is her physical appearance. Now, I do know beauty that is worth fighting dragons…but it’s not a beauty that is merely external.  “Quest” beauty is a beauty that starts from inside and flows out.  Princesses worth the miles are women who read.  They are women who manage households with their own flair.  These are women who embrace outcasts who choose to live on the fringe (or in the forest) because they just don’t fit in the kingdom.  These are women with strong hearts.  These are hearts worth finding.
These are hearts that give some men courage and other men flight.
This heart…is what makes our man Charming fight.
See, Charming is no trifle himself.  He is good looking, smart, funny, winsome, a great dancer, sportsman, singer, and I would assume owns a Trans Am.   There is no shortage of maidens in line in hopes that he will look their way and fill their childhood hopes of palace living and tiara wearing.  These women, while he is kind and truly cares about their welfare, create no spark in the heart of the Prince.   He doesn’t need someone to take care of him or clean up his messes or make him look good. He is not lonely and is perfectly fine on his own breathing deeply every day.
Until she.
She causes something to wake in him - a dormant something that he didn’t even know existed before the dance where she touched his hand. 
He is now on a quest for her heart. He doesn’t seek to posses it…but to know her and provide all the space she needs to flourish.  This man, who needed nothing, has been changed into a man who aches.
So, back to the heart of the matter. There is a beauty in letting down your defenses and letting someone in enough to create need. We can exchange the word for “desire” or “quest”, but it really is choosing to need someone. 
 When you let down the drawbridge a person comes in and alters the story. It’s true.  Our dear Charming is on a quest for the fierce heart of a princess.  He must be prepared, he must know what he seeks, and he must fight through every obstacle between him and the woman he loves. He will fight dragons, brambles, wars, scars, and stories to free her to be the woman she was made to be.  He will fight anything for her…
…except her. 
After all has been conquered, the honor of Charming must now go into effect.  His sword is sheathed, he removes his helmet, and reaches out his open hand.  He knows that the only way to love a princess is with an open hand.  All of this was for her.  He cannot posses her.  He has not purchased her with his quest.  She is free.
Truly free.
She can go.  She can say “I’m really not interested”.  She can run.
For Charming, the quest was about her heart, not getting paid.
A princess worth the quest is dangerous because there are no guarantees. She is accustomed to herself.  She is happy with herself and has no need of princes to complete the package.  She is a force to be reckoned with as she does the hard business of running her part of the kingdom on behalf of her Father.  Some might misunderstand - tempting her to remain in the middle of her bed for the day - but she chooses the fight.  
A prince who has what it takes to finish the quest knows this.  He’s not looking for someone to fill the empty side of the bed.  He has no need of cooks, cleaning ladies, or maidens to giggle at his jokes.  Our prince is looking for the heart of a queen.  Causing this one to swoon takes more than a sideways glance - it takes the heart of a man. It’s a heart that is willing to put down it’s defenses and give itself for true beauty. This doesn’t make him weak. The safe route would be to build enough defenses 
In watching Prince Charming over the last few weeks, I’ve been intrigued over this aspect of our hero. Prince Charming, the man who needed nothing at all, has cleared a space at the core of his soul to fit the wild heart of Eve. This man has lowered his defenses and stood before a princess covered in the blood and sweat of his journey and simply said “I love you…you are free”.  With all of his heart he hopes that she will let down her drawbridge and let him in - into her world - and show him all of the wonders that make her into the woman for which he fought.  It’s not because he doesn’t have a world or an identity of his own. His hope is that she, in turn, would desire to see his kingdom.  He has favorite books, family albums, records he plays over and over…the dreams he only shares with God.  No one has ever been here. He is nervous for the first time in his life…but she is worthy.
He has long desired to enter magical worlds and believed they were only in fairy tales.
Until She.
I’ve come to believe that courage isn’t living a life without fear or being invincible or invulnerable. Courage is recognizing that to move past where you are requires entering a situation that you cannot control - where fear is a proper and lifesaving emotion - and racing in anyway.
You just might find the eyes of a queen looking back at you.

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