I thought the restaurant was closed at first. The entire place was eerily empty.  I watched a small group stroll across the parking lot toward the door and I waited before parking my truck to see if they gained entrance.  As the door gave way to their efforts I pulled into the nearest space and walked in. I stood behind them to discover that they were a family visiting where a young man in the midst worked. They were quick to make note that I was a "real customer" and I made my order and sat down. I felt like I was in a movie scene. Christmas eve, a man in a suit sits all alone in an empty restaurant. 

I thought about it for a moment. 

Today was a day of good work. Last night I built a Christmas world for my boys that could only be described as grace. Good gifts...lots of them...flowed from the Christmas tree that my children would soon (and sooner than I expected) begin to enjoy. We spent the morning together and I sent them off with their mother to spend a week with their grandparents. I went to work on some last minute things for the people I have left to give to, took a shower, and went to get ready for the Christmas eve family service that I would be running that evening. 

It's now over.

Now I'm enjoying a salad and bowl of soup reflecting on what I was able to give. 

And I'm proud.

My feet hurt. I can feel the finish line behind me. It's been over a month of planning and saving and scrimping to make Christmas happen. There have been unexpected obstacles along the way, but it came anyway. Christmas has come and I made it here.

In this season, it's not possible or practical that I do anything but sit in a quiet moment tonight. Choices have been made and I spend the holiday alone. It's part of the deal. However, the love that has been given to me allows me to spend a great deal on the people I care about and to those I'm called to serve. 

For now, I'm spent.

For now, I simply celebrate the silent night.

In a moment, I'm going to get up and go to a family service with people I've grown to care deeply about. I've got more loving to do with them and then I'm going to send them off to where they need to be...hopefully with something I leave behind in them. I'll head home, maybe have some egg nog, and breathe a sigh of a season well done and say a prayer that the next year will be more than the last. 

I've been given a great grace tonight. Visible in the solitary silent night. 

To the child of grace who became the man of love who has lived in my shoes, I simply whisper "thank you."

Merry Christmas to all...and to all a good night.

Michael