Becoming Prince Charming Ch 1

Let me begin by saying that I think there is a lot of misunderstanding around prince charming that needs to be cleared up. I went to a high school production of Sodenheim's "Into The Woods" a week after introducing my boys to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and was struck by the decidedly un-charming urges of the princely character vs. the saviour of Disney's tale. One of the key lines in Sodenheim's story was spoken by little red after her confrontation with the wolf. Her observation was that "nice is different than good".

I almost wanted to stand on my chair and shout "That's what I've been trying to say all these years!!"

People call me nice sometimes. I often bristle at the compliment, really any compliment, but am doing better. This particular one always gives me pause. I truly hope I'm nice, but I want to be far more than nice. Nice men shift with the wind. Whatever the situation calls for, they can become. They can be nice - but you don't really know what's going on inside. Good men are kind, but tell you the truth. Some people don't like truth. A good man, when confronted with a contrary person, is perceived as anything but nice. He might even be considered a jerk. A good man is loving, but stands on principle and isn't willing to shrink from a fight when love is at risk.

Prince Charming is a good man...who can be very nice.

So, the next few entries is all about defending my boy Charming.

The prince has a lot to teach us about what it means to be a man in a world filled with dragons and princesses locked in towers. I invite you to slip on your tights, mount your noble steed, and join me on my quest to discover Charming.

Redemption Songs

“The songs come from my life…unfortunately”

- Bad Blake

Tons of movies come out every year, but only a few are considered “Oscar-worthy”.  These aren’t typically the movies that make us laugh or scare us.  Oscar movies are films that reach into our soul and say something about being human.  We see ourselves painted in stories of Bad Blake, Precious, Leigh Anne Tuohy, or even Carl Fredricksen.  I believe it’s for one reason - redemption.

The morning after the Oscars I scraped up the few dollars I won in the Oscar pool and ran to the theater to see “Crazy Heart”.  I wanted to see this movie from the moment it came out…and today provided a perfect day.

For those who haven’t seen it…the following might be a bit of a spoiler, but I hope it makes you want to see the film. The movie follows a couple of years in the life of Bad Blake, a legendary country singer who is a shell of the man people are coming to see.  Bad is on a tour of bowling alleys and cheap dives throughout the southwest, drinking himself to death along the way.  He is a man with a graveyard of broken hearts he has left along the road - not least of which is his own.  The human touches in his life serve the same role as his favorite whiskey - temporary numbness followed by morning regret.  When real love comes into his life he just isn’t ready.  The loss is devastating, but rocks him into recovery.  Things turn around for Bad…and chances are the last years of his life might be some of his best - at least some of his clearest - but his redemption exists with scars.

As I watched this movie - as I do with so many of these stories - I saw myself. Maybe that’s why we love these movies so much.  We see ourselves in the brokenness.  With all of the things I have accomplished in my life, I share one thing with everyone on this planet - I’m merely a man in a redemption story.  

I know what it is to be on the stage, giving people what they want or need then walking off stage alone. I know what it is to just want the pain to go away for a while and abusing myself so as to not feel so bad - even if it is just for a moment.  I know what it is to find love that makes you believe and then wonder if you are just too broken of man to keep it…and to have that fact be the one thing in this universe that scares the living hell out of you. 

Very few of us find ourselves in the place where we thought we would be - at least those of us who have made a decision to truly grab hold of this life and not just exist in it.  I’ve spent many a night playing dumps in Santa Fe all the while clutching the frayed rosary around my neck praying to God they can’t see past my sunglasses, but wishing someone would. 

So, there I am in my 78 suburban driving into the sunrise looking for the grace that I had at birth. I’ve made a lot of bad picks along the way and have been wounded and wounded others. The losses ahead give me pause, but I keep driving.  I might roll this truck, she might find a better man, and I might end with nothing but my songs.  All I can do is drive with the entirety of this crazy heart and love and laugh the best I can as I go…  

…hoping to heaven that this lonesome highway leads home.